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The Girlfriend Doctor w/ Dr. Anna Cabeca

Feb 9, 2020

Our previous sexual experiences, even traumas, don’t have to define our approach to sexuality as we get older. As Oprah says, trauma is an explanation, not an excuse. Lisa Davis, the author of Clean Eating, Dirty Sex, joins me today to talk about releasing past traumas through clean eating and self-love.

Lisa explains how we can be held back by our previous sexual experiences. She shares about a time when she was younger when she didn’t perceive herself as conventionally attractive to feeling more attractive in her later teenage years and becoming more promiscuous. For years, she felt that this was the only way she could share her sexuality and it hampered her adult relationships.

When we’re holding ourselves back due to past trauma, we tend to lack a sense of ourselves. This can have a negative effect on our immune systems and mental health. Lisa shares how you can start the process of inner bonding, and indeed, why getting to this point is so important for us all.

Lisa goes through some of the steps that you can take to relearn your approach to sexuality. From making the conscious decision that you’re taking responsibility for your feelings to opening up and talking about them more, every step towards acceptance and reframing helps. You can absolutely do the hard inner work on your own and use guidance from books like Clean Eating, Dirty Sex, and resources from Margaret Paul.

How can you reconnect to your sense of self? Let me hear your thoughts in the comments on the episode page. If you have questions, email


In This Episode:

  • How we can be held back by previous sexual experiences
  • How a lack of sense of self can impact our immune system
  • Why you should strive for inner bonding
  • What steps you can take to relearn your approach to sexuality
  • How you can do the harder inner work on your own, using guidance from books



“Really developing that relationship with yourself. If you weren’t nurtured, if you were abused, if you were neglected, whatever the case is: you have to have that inner love for yourself.” (17:23)

“You need to make a conscious decision that you want to take responsibility for your feelings and learn how you are causing your own anxiety, depression, guilt, and shame with your own thoughts and actions.” (23:31)

“Trauma is an explanation, but it’s not an excuse. Move on, move forward. The act of forgiveness is self-love. Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation.” (27:25)



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