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The Girlfriend Doctor w/ Dr. Anna Cabeca

Jan 19, 2020

Whether you’re terrified of conflict or you thrive on it, learning how to embrace conflict in the healthiest way possible is incredibly important for successful relationships. Today’s guests go so far as to say there’s a certain level of beauty that develops during conflict. CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke are here to talk about why we should all embrace the moments that bring conflict to our relationships.

Chronically repressing feelings of conflict and avoiding stressful situations can actually lead to bigger health problems. Once you start addressing some of the issues, you might notice positive changes to your health. Some of these feelings might even be held onto from childhood.

When you’re in a relationship, communication styles are more often than not going to be different. But it’s important to honor and respect your partner’s communication style and learn how to have meaningful conversations, even when they have an element of conflict.

You might also find that you have feelings of jealousy over something your partner is doing. CrisMarie and Susan explain how you can look at your emotions to determine why you’re feeling that certain way and how you can deconstruct the stories you hold. 

CrisMarie and Susan share how you can reconnect with your partner when you’re feeling out of touch with them or like you’re constantly angry and annoyed. When you’re in a committed relationship, it’s so imperative you at least try to work things out than throw it all away. One of their favorite techniques is the 5-5-5 rule to foster intimate, constructive conversations in a structured manner, so no one feels attacked or overwhelmed.

What is your love language? How do you feel after having an argument with your partner? Do you ever feel jealous over something your partner is doing?


In This Episode:

  • Where the beauty comes from during conflict
  • What repressing and avoiding conflict can cause in your body
  • How you can honor and respect the differences in communication styles
  • How you can turn around your feelings of jealousy to figure out what you’re not fulfilling in yourself
  • How you can get back in touch with your partner when you’re feeling constant anger with them
  • What the 5-5-5 rule is and how it can help you have more intimate, constructive conversations with your partner
  • How to rebuild lost trust within your relationship



“The more ideas that are out there, the more possibilities that are out there, the world expands. My world gets bigger and I’m not stuck in the narrative, whether it’s in my relationship or it’s out in the world in general, that I would be stuck in if I only had my own storyline.” (8:27)

“You’re defining yourself, meaning, I’m speaking out what I want. That doesn’t mean your partner has to change, you’re just defining yourself and doing what’s important for you and that’s a very powerful move.” (22:44)

“The key is once you decide, ‘hey, I need to find my voice’ is to remember that you still have this part, that they’re your expectations and that person over there never knew about them. So you’ve got to give that some room to let that other person catch up.” (45:14)



Buy The Beauty of Conflict

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