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The Girlfriend Doctor w/ Dr. Anna Cabeca

Jul 28, 2020

Recovering from a betrayal, whether your partner cheated or your best friend shared your deepest secrets, is a process. I’m joined by Dr. Debi Silber to talk about her work helping women discover their Post Betrayal Transformations.

About Dr. Debi Silber

Dr. Debi Silber is a holistic psychologist, the founder of The Post Betrayal Transformation Institute. She’s a recognized health, mindset, empowerment, and personal development expert and speaker, coach, and author. Debi specializes in helping women heal after experiencing betrayal.

After researching and conducting a Ph.D. study on how we experience betrayal from a family member or partner, Debi discovered a predictable and proven process that takes people from betrayal to breakthrough. That process, coupled with 28 years of health, mindset and personal development training and coaching, enabled her to create a multi-pronged approach to help people heal (physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually) from the trauma of betrayal.

About This Episode

In this episode, Debi joins me to talk about her work with the Post Betrayal Transformation Institute. She explains the three reasons why most people are unable to move on from betrayal. These reasons are not always something we do consciously, but recognizing them allows us space to work through the betrayal.

Debi’s favorite three steps are to face it, feel it, and heal it. When we actually take the time to face and acknowledge the betrayal, we can start to feel it. And it’s only when we actually feel our feelings and work through them that we can begin to heal.

Being betrayed and holding the feelings associated with it has a lasting impact. That impact is not just on our emotional health, but our physical and mental, too. It’s imperative that you find your way through these feelings so you can heal your body.

Debi talks about the five stages of betrayal. Like grief, our bodies and minds need to work through these stages in order to heal. Debi explains what happens when you don’t go through these stages or, even further than this, refuse to accept your betrayal altogether.

Finally, Debi talks us through a relatively simple activity that can help you start to heal your betrayal right now. Healing is a process; the earlier you start your journey, the sooner healing can begin. 

Are you struggling to work through a betrayal? You’re not alone. As always, you can ask me anything and let me hear your thoughts in the comments on the episode page. If you have questions, email


In This Episode:

  • The three reasons we won’t move on from a betrayal
  • Why you need to Face It, Feel It, Heal It
  • How betrayal impacts your overall health
  • The five stages of betrayal 
  • What happens when you refuse to accept your betrayal
  • A simple activity to help heal your betrayal right now



“It’s the hardest thing in the world because you really have to go through it saying, “I have no expectation of what’s going to show up, but I know I have to heal. That’s my priority.” (22:50)

“When you feel safe and valued, you forgive, you feel better. When you do not feel safe and valued, and you forgive, you do not feel better. I take it one step further and say: when you feel safe and valued, and you reconcile, then you can feel better. When you do not feel safe and valued when you reconcile, well, you can’t do that.” (32:29)

“Transformation happens when you tell yourself the truth.” (40:27)


Resources Mentioned

Are You Struggling with Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the Quiz, Now!

Find Dr. Debi Silber Online

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