Apr 28, 2019
Falling in love is the easy part. The chemical reaction in your body when you find someone to share your life with is fun, exciting, and adventurous. It’s staying in love that’s hard. Today, I’m joined by relationship expert, Arielle Ford, about how keep your relationships alive, thriving, and full of love.
Arielle has been in the relationship game for a long time and has researched and written so many books on the subject, including The Soulmate Secret and Turn Your Mate Into Your Soulmate. Her work has helped women across the world find love and connect with their husbands on a deeper, more understanding and emotional level. I actually met Arielle through JJ Virgin who met the love of her life following Arielle’s advice.
Being in a loving marriage herself, Arielle expresses that while she was in love with her husband, when they first got married she wished she knew more about how to make relationships work. There’s a lot more to it than just a feeling of love. She describes some of the 9 irreconcilable differences that most relationships face and how you can come up with creative solutions - not compromises - to get around them.
Statistically, one of the biggest causes of divorce is differences in opinion about how to spend money. Arielle shares a very personal story of the creative solution her and her husband came up with when they first got married and had different financial backgrounds. Open and honest communication is paramount in a relationship and so many issues can be reconciled just by talking about them.
We talk about the concept of women being pleasure puppies, which, essentially, means that women need to make self-care a priority in their everyday life. In the same vein, women need to be aware that we are responsible for our own happiness, not our husband's, though of course, when you’re working together as a well-oiled machine, mutual happiness will come much easier.
Arielle gives some helpful tips on how to use positive reinforcement with your husband to help get rid of any bad habits - that’s right, no more screaming matches!! It all comes down to making your husband feel like your hero.
Do you withhold sex from your husband out of punishment or just not being in the mood? How do you prioritize your husbands wants and needs and show him that you love him? What do you do to reignite a spark that’s maybe starting to go out in your relationship? Let me know in the comments.
In This Episode:
“So the truth is real, adult, mature, love is a behavior. It's a practice, it's a decision, it's a choice, it's an action, it's a way of being. And yes, you can be with your true soulmate, and have days or moments when you hate them. And that is also normal. It doesn't mean that you don't love them.” (11:33)
“[Understand] your husband isn't there to make you happy. But you can train them how to make you happy… It's called positive reinforcement. And for those of you who are thinking, “well, this is how you train dogs or dolphins.” Yes, yes, it's the same technique. But it works.” (16:08)
“And the reason for [your 2nd and 3rd divorce] isn't that you keep choosing the same person over and over again. The reason is you have not grown and changed. Because if you had grown and changed, you would be attracting a better partner.” (28:29)