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The Girlfriend Doctor w/ Dr. Anna Cabeca

Mar 1, 2020

While confidence is a natural state of being for a lot of people, it is something that you can learn even if it doesn’t come easily to you. Elle Russ, writer and author of Confidence as Fu*k, joins me to talk about what led her to pursue confidence as a career.

There are so many different ways to be confident. And for so many confident people, they’re at the top of their game. This doesn’t mean, however, that there aren’t pitfalls to having innate confidence and Elle explains what some of these are. We also talk about how you can be confident in one area of your life, such as your career, but not others, such as parenthood.

Elle shares about her disability and the shame that she felt when she initially received her lifelong diagnosis. It wasn’t until she started opening up and talking about her disability that her confidence started to grow back. She quickly found out that by taking the power of her shame away that she was able to live a happier and healthier life, exploring the paths she thought she’d never see.

Elle explains what some of the things confident people don’t do. From competing to comparing, confident people don’t care what other people are doing, they focus on themselves and their goals. She also tells us what you absolutely need to let go of in order to step into your own confidence.

Like everyone, Elle has had her share of doubters, downers, and naysayers in her life. While initially, their words of discouragement hurt, she’s learned how to handle these people. 

Elle’s final piece of advice is about how to make your dreams a reality. Less thinking of the “how” to make it happen, as that’s where you’ll get stuck and stagnate, and more trying to make your dreams happen.

What has this conversation about confidence brought up for you? Let me hear your thoughts in the comments on the episode page. If you have questions, email


In This Episode:

  • What the pitfalls of being a confident person are
  • How you can be confident in one area of your life but not others
  • Why you need to deal with your shame in order to move forward with your life
  • How opening up about something you’re ashamed about can help you be more confident
  • What confident people don’t do
  • What you need to let go of in order to move forward in confidence
  • How you can handle the downers and naysayers in your life
  • What happens when you live in the “how” of a dream



“Confident people are usually the most authentic, they’re the most revered, the most employed, they’re usually the most successful and there’s a reason for that: Because they do speak up and stand by that tenant of ‘it never hurts to ask.’ They take chances and risks.” (5:31)

“You never know what’s going to throw you into your purpose or some avenue that’s going to lead you somewhere you never thought you would go.” (33:16)

“To me, it’s not about proving them wrong. It’s about proving yourself awesome.” (47:40)



Buy Confident as Fu*k

Find Elle Russ Online

Find Elle Russ on Facebook | Instagram | Twitter


Check out the full episode page

Find Dr. Anna Online

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