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The Girlfriend Doctor w/ Dr. Anna Cabeca

Aug 9, 2022

In this week’s episode I speak with Bela Gandhi about the challenges of Dating in your 50’s. It may seem intimidating dating again during menopause but this can actually be the BEST time to date! At this stage in your life, you can really take a step back and take inventory of all your experiences, so that you can move into a new relationship free of your own destructive habits. All the romantic notions of love that our culture pushes on us, tend to be counterproductive. Bela Bela Gandhi will teach you not to chase the butterflies and instant chemistry; what you really want is a slow burn, enjoy really getting to know someone, dating is an adventure!


Key Takeaways: 

[3:10] Dating over 50 is the BEST time to date

[4:50] Introspection is essential to move forward into a new healthy relationship

[7:25] Confusing butterflies as excitement but it's really a warning system

[9:50] Joy Safety and Ease.

[11:10] Boring might actually just be safe

[13:20] Good Husband Qualities

[14:30] Don’t rush: Let the chemistry grow 

[17:20] Love Bombs feel good but are a RED FLAG

[20:00] Set Boundaries Take one step at a time.

[23:00] Nothing worthwhile in life is easy

[27:00] You are the fun, don’t rely on them being fun

[28:20] Keep an open mind

[29:40] Navigating professional life and Dating 

[33:00] Who pays?




Memorable Quotes:

“Sometimes it’s a different face on the same problems, so you have to address those.”  [4:30] -Dr. Anna Cabeca

“Butterflies are bad in the dating process.” [8:33] -Bela Ghandi

“What is particularly sinister about attachment is, you’re not “Fixed anxious” and you’re not “Fixed avoidant”; they can morph. They shapeshift based upon  who you’re with. So a lot of times, you have picker issues and attachment issues, Good and normal people might feel boring.”  [10:38]

“Chemistry can come later in the game, it doesn't have to be there right away, in fact, Ladies!, if  you feel chemistry with someone right, right  right away most likely it’s because this person reminds you of an ex.” [14:30] -Bela Ghandi

“Dating can bring up the most vulnerable part of our lives and it can bring up so many fears that we haven't dealt with.”[20:10] -Bela Ghandi 

“Just because something is simple, doesn't mean it’s easy.” [22:40] -Bela Ghandi



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