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The Girlfriend Doctor w/ Dr. Anna Cabeca

Oct 27, 2020

It’s time to stop the negative talk to both yourself and the people around you. We’re introducing conscious communication from here on out. I’m joined by Mary Shores to talk about how she created this communication model to positively impact her personal and business relationships.

Key Takeaways

What’s on the Do Not Say List:

  • No
  • Not
  • Can’t 
  • Won’t
  • However
  • Unfortunately

About Mary Shores

Mary Shores is an innovative collection agency owner, communication expert, and best-selling author who transforms people's words to help them fall back in love with their customers. Fifteen years ago, Mary discovered a game-changing formula to connect to your customers and clients. It all started with a do not say list and grew into an entire strategy that will fix your relationships.

Change Your Thoughts: Change Your Life

Mary shares with us the story of her childhood and what led her to start her own business as a debt collector. It’s such an emotional tale but is one that has such a positive outcome. Mary tells us the exact moment she decided to change her mindset… and change her life.

When she decided to take a more positive outlook with her communications, Mary sent out that conscious request to the universe that she would embody that joy, however, and wherever she could. Part of this was allowing herself to examine her negative thoughts when they arose. By learning where her negative thoughts and emotions stemmed from, she figured out how to work with and through past trauma.

Over the past 15 years of inner work, Mary developed an alternative model for Positive Psychology. The Power of Thought Quality lets you look at what impact your thoughts have and where the power of your individual words lies.

This led Mary to create the Cleanse or Clog formula. This method acts as a way to train your mind and thoughts to recognize when something is good for you - or something that’s sitting more negatively in your life.

Have Some Compassion for Yourself

Mary talks about the power that exists when you label your emotions. For so many of us, figuring out what we’re actually feeling seems like a nearly impossible task. But, as Mary details, when you can get there, there is immense healing.

Something Mary encourages us all to learn how to do more often is to have compassion for ourselves. There is so much power in the negative words we speak to ourselves and, on top of this, we’re all under immense stress and pressure.

Mary recommends writing down everything you feel that’s going wrong in your life right now. When you look at that list - how does it make you feel? I want you to know that you’re justified if you’re feeling overwhelmed and that you owe yourself some compassion.

How would you talk to your six-year-old self? Will you be implementing the Do Not Say list in your life? As always, you can ask me anything and let me hear your thoughts in the comments on the episode page. If you have questions, email

In This Episode

  • How one moment can change your entire approach to life [11:50]
  • What happens when you allow yourself to examine the negative thoughts you have [16:20]
  • What the power of thought quality is [21:45]
  • How to apply the Cleanse or Clog formula to your life [25:00]
  • How transforming your language to label your emotions releases them within you [33:10]
  • How to have compassion for yourself [40:00]
  • What power there is in asking other people feeling questions [48:50]


“We need an allowance to be able to process our emotions when sh*t hits the fan. Because let’s face it, life is not always rainbows and sunshine all the time, every single day.” [15:51]

“Focus on what you can do instead of what you can’t do. Now, here’s the difference between the power of thought quality and positive thinking: When you find the thing that you can do, no matter how small that is, I want you to celebrate it like it is a huge moment in life.” [18:19]

“If you say ‘no’ to another person or you say something negative to another person and it triggers them, well it’s doing the same thing when you’re talking to yourself that way.” [30:54]

“When you can reestablish that connection to your feelings, your body’s ability to receive pleasure will begin to restore itself.” [41:19]

“Just start where you are. It doesn’t matter. If you are like me and you don’t even understand the concept of what a feeling is, just trust me and write your list of everything that you feel is broken in your life.” [47:16]

Resources Mentioned

Buy Conscious Communication by Mary Shores on Amazon

Find Mary Shores Online

Follow Mary Shores on Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | YouTube | Pinterest

Join the KetoGreen Community on Facebook

Buy Keto-Green 16

Check out the full episode page

Find Dr. Anna Online

Follow Dr. Anna on Facebook | Instagram | Twitter

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