Jun 2, 2019
A lot of people don’t realize that grief and tragedy can take literally years to get to a point of acceptance with it. And while it’s a very real process for anyone going through it, so many people around them want you to just “get over it” and stop feeling the way you’re feeling. It’s not that easy, and today’s guest, Dr. Laurie Nadel, is here to tell you how you can use humanity’s greatest gifts to work through your pain.
Dr. Laurie Nadel is a writer and psychotherapist who spent 20 years on the front lines of many traumatic events, from wars to hurricanes. She’s used this experience to fuel her quest and education into grief, trauma, and acute stress. Laurie tells us about another first-hand traumatic event she witnessed, when Hurricane Katrina flooded her house, and what it was like watching your heaviest furniture floating in the rising waters.
In this episode of Couch Talk, Laurie shares with us how she was called to the premise of her book, The Five Gifts, and what each of these gifts are.
It’s easy to get stuck in a “woe is me” thought cycle when a tragedy befalls you. When you practice humility, you learn to reframe your question of “why me?” to “why not me?” This shift in attitude can completely alter your outlook on life and your current circumstances.
Perhaps one of the most important parts of this episode is how Laurie explains you can, and should, be there for someone going through trauma and grief. It’s not always about being there when they’re going through it and then leaving, but about sticking around and supporting them through the long haul. Our loved ones who need help will still need help 6 months and more down the road, too.
We talk about the other gifts and how you should take each of them into consideration when you’re experiencing and supporting through trauma. We also note that there is a difference between post-traumatic growth and post-traumatic stress disorder…. And bring up the many different experiences that can bring these mental health problems into being.
How do you help support your friends and family who are experiencing trauma? Do you apply the five gifts to your life circumstances? When have you witnessed a tragedy bring out the best of humanity?
In This Episode:
- How witnessing the horrors of war caused Laurie to examine different careers
- What it’s like to experience your house flooding from a hurricane
- How tragedy can bring out the best in humanity
- What the five gifts are and how they came to Dr. Laurie Nadel
- How you can apply humility to your tragic situations and experiences
- What having humility can help us connect to
- How you can be there for other people who are experiencing grief
- What post-traumatic growth is and how it is related to post-traumatic stress disorder
- How extreme weather events can have an impact on mental health
- How long you should wait before connecting with a friend experiencing grief
Quotes:
“Healing very often takes 3-5 years and people stop wanting to help after 2-3 months. They want you to be over it.” (11:15)
“Nobody gets a free pass from suffering. Money doesn’t buy you the free pass from suffering. Tragic loss can happen, and does happen, to people on the planet every single day.” (16:10)
“Patience is the gift that allows us to accept that we are where we are. And it’s okay. The heart has its own timetable for healing.” (19:08)
Links
Follow Dr. Laurie Nadel on Instagram | Twitter
Buy The Five Gifts: Discovering Hope, Healing, and Strength When Disaster Strikes
Find out more about Zen Mind Space
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